The Current College Admissions Scandal and EFT

This entry was posted in Uncategorized on by .

 

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

I love writing.  Of all the skills I’ve attempted to master during my lifetime, writing is very high on my list of joyful accomplishments.  This is because, as a child, I suffered from developmental trauma. I lived without a voice.  I could cry, I could laugh, and I could rage, but the ability to speak my mind and heart in order to communicate something intelligible was not a skill I fully developed until I was an adult.  My way of avoiding discovery of my distressful isolation was to smile, a lot.  Early on I discovered that people tend to ignore a silent, smiling kid.  They look fine, right?  Cute.  One of the kids nobody has to worry about. Education changed my life, as it changes the lives of many, many traumatized children.

Continue reading

Mary Oliver’s Many Gifts to Us

This entry was posted in Adverse Childhood Experiences/ACEs, Embodiment after Trauma, Mary Oliver, Trauma and tagged on by .

 


Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Mary Jane Oliver, American poet, died on January 17, 2019. Although she will be greatly missed, her poetry remains to remind us of her gift for deep connection with the natural world. Arguments about her literary value may feed the appetite for constant critical analysis in the academy, but no one who has suffered childhood trauma and read Oliver’s work as an adult doubts her ability to see and express the human ability to heal through our connection with nature. Whether she intended to be or not, Mary Oliver is a poet especially relevant to those who suffer trauma at the hands of the humans in our lives.

Poetry, like life, gives us what we expect. If we expect erudition, cleverness, and cerebral workouts, Mary Oliver will disappoint. If we expect solace, delight, beauty, and coherence, her words flood us with the comforting sound of a mature voice expressing our deep hunger for, and discovery of, meaning. Because of the deeply rooted sensory nature of her work, it is no surprise that Oliver is one of America’s best selling poets. Many of us experience the pain of broken human relationship when we are young, our youth ensuring we have no words to describe what we are feeling. Bereft, we find love and caring where we can, sometimes with people who do not have our best interests at heart, sometimes with those so broken they forget connection, love, and kindness is the fuel we all require to become the people we were meant to be. And sometimes, we find home in the other-than-human world beyond our doorstep.

Mary Oliver is one of those rare poets whose images remind us we can reclaim our embodiment, even after the most severe trauma sends us deep into dissociation and lost identity. Moving through trauma means recognizing the site of the crime, marking out each violating act, and tenderly befriending whatever we had to do to feel safe. For many of us, safety is palpable when we are lying on the Earth looking up at the clouds, attending to the scents of mint or pine or salt water, or kneeling with reverence at the moment of some birth, death, or discovery we did not expect. The cry of wild geese, the heart-beat of waves, the drumming of woodpeckers, these sounds connect us to the pulsing mystery that sustains our lives. Humans may let us down, Mary Oliver reminds us, but the natural world never will. The natural expressions of life on earth knit us together with sight and sound and rhythm, these sensory foods nourishing body, heart, mind, and spirit.

As a survivor of early trauma, the most challenging aspects of my early life grew out of my inability to be present to the people in my world – family members, friends, teachers, and later, lovers and employers. Dissociation is a coping mechanism – a search for safety – most easily obscured by apparent compliance or its alter ego, rebelliousness. Traumatized children and adolescents are often called daydreamers, under-achievers, and even developmentally challenged. What we truly are is homeless, our sense of safety within the sanctuary of our bodies shattered by the traumas we’ve experienced. Mary Oliver, in her own pursuit of embodiment, has created an alchemy of re-connection, for herself, for those who read her.

Childhood trauma may leave us feeling permanently broken, alienated from others, adrift in a sea of sensation that feels constantly threatening and random.  Mary Oliver’s poetry offers a lifeline out of this sea.  As she looks and listens, as she expresses the joy, the surprise, the shock of life’s unfolding, her words have the power to coax us into our bodies – our personal expressions of sensory life – rhythmically, safely. 

Perhaps more than ever before, human disembodiment is encouraged and even rewarded by the mechanisms we have created to “connect.”  Our children are encouraged to study  STEM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Math) subjects, this emphasis covertly teaching generations of children to devalue the arts as frivolous non-essentials that take time, attention, and resources away from research that increasingly preoccupies the minds of our best and brightest, but, sadly, neglects the hearts and souls that make us human.

  “Meanwhile, the world goes on.”  In “Wild Geese,” Mary Oliver reminds us of the “soft animal of our bodies,” of our need for the other-than-human coherence found beyond the failures of our human connections.  Her poetry forges pathways to seeing, hearing, and living this coherence, even after the worst has happened.

As an EFT practitioner, I have come to think of the work I do, personally, on my own traumas, and with clients, as a means of rediscovering the poetry of our lives, the safety of our own bodies, the joy of being in relationship with the forces supporting all of life on our fragile, lovely planet.  Mary Oliver has long been part of this rediscovery.  I mourn her passing.  And I celebrate her ongoing, healing presence in the beauty and healing she continues to foster in so many of us to through her poetry.

Jane

 

Jane is an EFT practitioner, trainer, writer, and educator specializing in neutralizing the long-term effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)  as well as the cultural limitations that interfere with our ability to imagine, create, and live the lives we desire.  To engage Jane for individual or group coaching services, AAMET (EFT International)  Accredited, Certified Mentoring sessions,  and EFT Level One and Two Training for your group, call Jane at  (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net .  Visit www.winterblooms.net to learn more about how Jane supports and inspires individuals, groups, and communities.

Please Note:  This is an educational website only and not meant to replace therapy with certified psychologists, family therapists, or psychiatrists.  Jane Buchan, MA, is an AAMET (EFT International) Master Trainer, long-time teacher at the elementary, secondary, and college levels, and early trauma survivor who works exclusively as a learning coach in the best practices of EFT.  She created this website to support the most effective use of EFT to reduce general and specific stresses and to increase the joy of daily living through self regulation and co-regulation.

To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, please reach out to Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or by email at jane@winterblooms.net.  In her coaching practice, Jane uses EFT and many other techniques to help individuals, groups, and communities resolve inner and outer conflicts and identify and achieve goals that will bring about desired positive changes.  This blog reflects her experience with EFT’s efficacy as a support for personal, community, and cultural transformation.



When Holiday Blues turn Black – A Seasonal Love Note

This entry was posted in Emotional Freedom Techniques on by .

 

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how the use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

 

Recently, I watched a stranger’s growing distress as a cheerful sales clerk asked casual questions about the status of her tree trimming, baking, and gift buying.  To some, this time of year is an endless source of joy that means family, the birth of Christ, and the meaning of giving.  To many others in the western hemisphere, this holiday season distills the isolation and disillusionment at the heart of a compulsively  materialistic culture. Whether we’re solidly in the joy camp or increasingly aware of the inequities in our society, this time of year comes with its own special challenges.  So much of our attention is diverted from the quiet pleasures of authentic connection that we can spiral into seasonal depression.  Using EFT daily, as a personal emotional-hygiene tool and even as a form of prayer for the larger world, can help us to find Peace in the Winter Solstice energies supporting conscious rebirth. 

 

Continue reading

Emotional Freedom Techniques and the Permission to Begin

This entry was posted in EFT, EFT Aspects, Emotional Freedom Techniques, Fear, Guessing and tagged on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

 “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” Lao-tzu

Yes, but . . . .  When we are caught in the energies of fear, self doubt, past failures, and isolation, taking that first, single step toward a goal can trigger our flight, fight, freeze response.  When we are flooded with these emotions, even the tiniest step toward a goal seems utterly impossible.  Sometimes, in order to avoid admitting our fear, we launch into discrediting the goal as unworthy.  For example, a person who sets a weight-loss goal and finds himself paralyzed by mysterious fears might say, “Why should I give in to the cultural pressure to be thin?  I’m going to be myself, a big guy, and celebrate my bigness.”

This response is entirely valid unless the decision to lose weight is based on legitimate health risks such as diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease, joint/movement problems or a combination of these.  When a part of us knows it is time to make a change, and another part comes forward to discredit that knowledge, Emotional Freedom Techniques can help us to find a way forward.  Best of all, EFT can do so very gently.

Continue reading

Early Trauma, Movement, and EFT

This entry was posted in Creativity, Early Trauma, EFT, Movement on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

When infancy and early childhood are interrupted by sudden shocking experiences for which we cannot be prepared, the body often responds with profound stillness.  This freeze reaction is an expression of the Flight, Flight, Freeze Response built into the complex systems supporting human development.  Far from being a sign of failure, these automatic reactions to trauma are meant to protect us from experiences we are not yet ready to understand and resolve.

The long-term effects of the trauma induced Fight, Flight, Freeze Response include habits that do not serve our best interests as engaged and confident adults.  Because of their ability to negatively impact us emotionally, intellectually, physically, and spiritually, these habits present us with the opportunity to learn and apply skills as we mature, skills to support the replacement of negative habits with positive ones.  While addressing our traumas once we have developed cognitive skills and body awareness can feel burdensome, Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) and its power to support the natural process of memory re-consolidation can lighten and even resolve the emotional challenges of early trauma.

Continue reading

Judy Rebick, Early Childhood Trauma, and Telling Our Stories

This entry was posted in #MeToo, Adverse Childhood Experiences/ACEs, Dissociation, EFT, Patriarchy, Safety, Tapping on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane by phone at (802) 533-9277 or email jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

If you are Canadian and a Boomer, or a feminist of any nationality, you know the name Judy Rebick.  She has been at the forefront of humanitarian causes since the 1970s, and her fearlessness as an advocate and activist is legendary.  She championed Dr. Henry Morgentaler and Dr. Robert Scott when The Morgentaler Clinic was under assault from extremists in the Right to Life movement.  She also advocated for deaf-culture individuals and agencies and for labour unions threatened by NAFTA.   The author of several books, her new memoir, Heroes in My Head, is a must read for anyone concerned with early childhood trauma, it’s long-term health and relationship effects, and its profound power to unleash the protective genius of a child experiencing assault.

Continue reading

Emotional Freedom Techniques, ACEs, and Loving Kindness

This entry was posted in Adverse Childhood Experiences/ACEs, EFT, Energy Hygiene, Loving Kindness and tagged on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support, and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane (802) 533-9277 / jane@winterblooms.net.

Visit www.winterblooms.net,  www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Bowing our heads to say a prayer for the world has fallen out of fashion, at least among the most vociferously expressive of our current-events chroniclers.  Sadly, in these times of emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual overload, the most common form of communication is the reactive rant.  Like a virus, the emotions of fear and grief fueling verbal assaults – those we see among leaders in news and those we see among family and friends and co-workers – cannot help but infect us, especially if we are working through the residual effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE). Continue reading

Mud Season and Transitions

This entry was posted in Blue Moon, Making Positive Change, Mud Season, Navigating Change on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment, trauma-informed emotional support, and to build emotional resilience over the long term, contact Jane (802) 533-9277 / jane@winterblooms.net.  Visit www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT supports the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, informs more loving and respectful relationships, and empowers its users to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

When I moved to Vermont from Ontario, Canada, in 2002, I had never heard of Mud Season.  A city girl who spent summers at cottages on Lake Erie, before this move I lived my life on city streets, paved city streets, where the only impediments to traffic flow were rush hour congestion, spring flooding, winter blizzards, and the occasional parade or street party.  I assumed my driving life on and around Stannard Mountain in Vermont’s Northeast King/Queendom would be much the same as it had been in Toronto, Kitchener-Waterloo, Windsor, and Hamilton, the Ontario cities of my former life.

We set up camp in the fall of 2002 and set about making a small cottage livable for the winter months.  As I settled deep in these northern woods and explored its network of dirt roads, I scoffed at the isolation friends warned me about.  After the bustle and noise of big-city life, I relished the peace of my new environment.  This beautiful, sparsely populated rural setting felt like  the ideal place to work on the novel I’d brought to Vermont to complete.

Far from feeling isolated, the long periods of silence and stillness nourished my writer’s soul.  As fall gave way to winter, I made friends with my splitting maul and took long solitary walks in a frozen landscape that was both beautiful and intimidating.  Barred owls, white-tailed deer, wild turkeys, and occasional visits from singing coyote packs thrilled me.  It was the summer cottage experience of my youth expanded to bless all the seasons of my adult life.  And then, winter shifted, warmed, prompted excitement about sugaring.  That first year I was enchanted by the perfume of maple sap boiling down into syrup that is the epicenter of spring work in these Green Mountains.  As I relished that sweet scent, I met Spring’s fiercest adversary: Mud Season.

Continue reading

Making Change in Later Life

This entry was posted in Ageism, Agency, Angel of Story, EFT on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment emotional support and learn how to build emotional resilience, contact Jane (802) 533-9277 / jane@winterblooms.net.  Visit www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT can support the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, inform more loving and respectful relationships, and empower practitioners to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world.

Making change is often challenging, especially when people we love and respect express intense emotions about our choice to change.  Making change in our fifties, sixties, seventies and beyond can attract even more criticism from loved ones and friends because of their strong attachment to who they think we should be and what they think we should be doing.  Because we live in an ageist culture, limiting expectations often form unconsciously around us as we age, and while these limiting beliefs may be intended to support our well being and safety, they often act as gatekeepers, ensuring we make minimal changes, even positive ones.

Since most of us tend to define ourselves through our relationships, changes, especially those we make to support our health and personal fulfillment can feel like an attack on friends’ and family members’ choices. Happily, the desire to make change in later life often comes with its own “this-is-absolutely-right-for-me” imperative.  This means disapproval from adult children, intimate partners, close friends, and even our wellness team members cannot impugn the inner guidance prompting us to change.   If we avoid making changes simply to please or comfort others who may be living from fear rather than love, we threaten our own authenticity.  When this happens, the body will complain loudly about this betrayal, through pain, anxiety, sleeplessness, or all three.

Supporting mature clients who want to make changes that may not be approved of by family and friends is one of the most rewarding aspects of my coaching practice.  The road newly taken is not always smooth, but it is full to the brim with learning opportunities and positive growth.  Those of us called to make big changes in our later years can do so with relative ease when we follow a few simple guidelines.

Continue reading

Caring for Care Providers – An Emotional Freedom Techniques Level One Training

This entry was posted in AAMET Level One Training, Hospice Care Providers, Hospital Trauma, Palliative Care Professionals on by .

 

Please Note:  Winter Blooms is an educational website created to support the most effective use of Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT) to reduce stress and increase joy.  To experience the benefits of EFT for in-the-moment emotional support and learn how to build emotional resilience, contact Jane (802) 533-9277 / jane@winterblooms.net.  Visit www.aamet.org and www.neftti.com to learn more about how EFT can support the resolution of inner and outer conflicts, inform more loving and respectful relationships, and empower practitioners to contribute to the changes we want to see in the world, 

Training in Emotional Freedom Techniques frequently fills participants with the joyful spaciousness we call optimism.  Regardless of personal and professional challenges, spending time with a group of seekers who yearn for loving relationships at home, collegiality at work, and supportive tools to inform an evolving life journey provides both the hope and skills we need to create life affirming habits.  On January 27-28, 2018, I am offering a Level One Training in Emotional Freedom Techniques especially designed to meet the emotional needs of professional care providers, a training intended to care for the remarkable people who provide professional care for the terminally ill and dying.

Continue reading